Viewers: fuck where did that come from -
John: I fucking hate my life.
Therapist: Have you been writing in your therupatic diary like I told you to?
John: MY EYES AREN'T GLISTENING WITH THE GHOST OF MY PAST
John: Ohhh hi didn't see you there -
Mike: LOL GURL SO HOW U BIN, HOW'S LIFE?
John: I'm thirty-five, single, unemployed, skint, and I've got anxiety problems of some description and a limp.
Mike: GURL THAT'S SO RAVEN
Mike: let me hook you up, man
Sherlock: I love the smell of dead bodies in the morning
Sherlock: Yes, thank you, I would like you to serve me some coffee, how thoughtful
John: What are these new fang-dangly things they didn't have them in my day
Mike: that's a computer, John
Sherlock: Mike give me your phone
Mike: Do you know how at wildlife parks and stuff they don't let you feed the animals partly so that the animals don't get reliant on being fed by humans and then stop foraging for their own food?
Mike: This is John Watson. havethesexwithhim.
Sherlock: -text it- Afghanistan or Iraq?
Sherlock: smoothly interrupting you to casually accept fangirl-made coffee
Sherlock: thank you for offering to make me this delicious coffee
Sherlock: -sips- mnn, tangy
Sherlock: you look ugly without makeup
Sherlock: We should be flatmates
Sherlock: I'll meet you at the flat ok
Sherlock: Goodbye Mr Army Doctor from afghanistan
Sherlock: say hi to your alcoholic brother for me
Sherlock: nice psychosomatic limp you got there
Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes, 221b Baker St, exit stage left
Sherlock: Check out the flat ain't it pretty don't you like it John, you must like it, I can clean up, look I'm cleaning up say you'll live with me say it
Mrs Hudson: You guys are such a cute couple
Lestrade: There's been a murder
Sherlock: come and see dead bodies with me, John
John: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT I THINK I LIKE IT
Sherlock: lol you're blowing one of the forensic team
Anderson: fuk u shercock u dick
Sherlock: i know you are i said you are but what am i
Sherlock: John what's your professional doctor's opinion.
John: ... yup she's dead.
John: amazing brilliant fantastic
Lestrade: I'm standing in the room still
Sherlock: lol you're all idiots I am the only one who sees the truth
security cameras: spinning
Mycroft: I am suggestively frightening and I'm sherlock's arch enemy, my name begins with M, can you guess who I am
Sherlock: URGENT URGENT COME HOME AT ONCE THERE IS AN URGENCY
Sherlock: Pass me my phone.
Sherlock: and send a text please k thanks
John: Fuck you sideways, man
Sherlock: come to dinner?
Angelo: you're such a cute gay couple
Angelo: So very cute and gay
John: no, sherlock, say something, tell him we're not gay
Angelo: I'll get some candles to set the mood to SEXY TIMES
John: NO DON'T GET CANDLES
John: Why do I have an ominous feeling that this is going to happen again? Like reverse deja vu?
Sherlock: Keep an eye out for murderers 'kay
John: So er ... got a girlfriend? Or a ... boyfriend?
Sherlock: uh ... John ... look, it's very flattering and all but I'm taken
Sherlock: My work is a jealous lover
John: no - what? I don't even want to consider how a relationship with investigating dead bodies works - no, I wasn't - no - I'M NOT GAY!
Sherlock: SUSPECT AT TWO O'CLOCK
John: shit that was funny
Lestrade: DRUGS BUST PARTY AT 221B
Sherlock: THE FUCK IS GOING ON
John: wait drugs lol what
Lestrade: THERE ARE PEOPLE STANDING IN THIS ROOM
Sherlock: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS
Cabbie: come away with me, in the night
Cabbie: pick a pill any pill
Cabbie: pick a pill anyway
Sherlock: sounds like fun
Sherlock: that's so raven
Lestrade: tell me the things
Sherlock: look at my fucking ugly blanket
John: for a minute there I thought my princess was in another castle
John: why didn't you tell me he was your brother?
Sherlock: because he smells
Sherlock: lol John let's go get Chinese